Until reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson, I'd only ever read a single self-help book (The Choice: Embrace the Possible) that genuinely left me feeling like I learned or realized something helpful. Now that number's all the way up to two books. All jokes aside, there is an important theme in this novel: we care about the wrong things. But that isn't the point that resonated the most with me. Specifically, Manson states that " Life is essentially an endless series of problems [...] the solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one [...] Don't hope for a life without problems - there's no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems".
Life is imperfect. He postulates, in a slightly vulgar but very insightful way, that to reap the joys, we need to push through hardship. Although that isn't exactly the way that I'd put it, I do think that he is pretty close to being right. My greatest struggles were solved not by wallowing in pity, or pretending I'm happy, or anything else. I got mad. I hated the issue. So I whooped its ass. It is harder to try something than to play it safe and think of excuses. But the rewards are greater.
For me, the most enlightening aspect was his connection of the "I'll be worse than everyone else" mentality to narcissism. Counterintuitive at first, but actually, it does take a certain level of ego to believe yourself to be negatively special just, like positively. The whole "everyone is special" idea is a sham. Most of us are just human. Nothing special. But this book is. Go read it.
A few more thoughts:
- "Our struggles determine our successes. Our problems birth our happiness, along with slightly better, slightly upgraded struggles. [...] The joy is in the climb itself."
- "Happiness is not a solvable equation."
- "If every project I started failed, if every post I wrote went unread, I'd only be back exactly where I started."
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